Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Are you there??

Are you in?

If the answer to these questions is "Yes" from the other side, then the next question will be:

Can I come over?

If it is a "Yes" again,  then the next question will be:

What time would be convenient for you?

If you are beginning to wonder if this is an official meeting precedence, then stop right there. This is what happens on casual visits to friends' /relatives places too.

Implies... that we are beginning to formalize everything and every relationship too. We are beginning to see the other person as an intrusion in our lives because that's why the doubt comes up if it would be the right time to visit someone." What if I go in when they are busy getting ready to step out? What if they are not at home when I travel all the way to their place? What if they are unwell and are not in a position to answer the door-bell at all?? What if I disturb them or their plans??"

Agreed, these formalities are important and essential for today's kind of busy lifestyle but we also need to remember that we have come up to the point in life where we cannot take NO for an answer, cannot see a Closed Door, and cannot accept a plan going for a toss!!!

More than the Can, the CanNOTs rule us and define our lives!!!

So what if you go all the way to see a friend and it turns out that the family has stepped out for dinner. You could leave a Hello note and plan something else for yourself that evening. Why don't we take it that way?? When phones were not there, people did visit each other without prior information. Bonds seemed more real and straight out of heart back then.

 Just an observation and warning for self!!!! It is not that tomorrow morning I am going to try changing the formality myself, but it is definitely worth taking a step back to check if we are really bonding with people or faking it!!!

Monday, October 17, 2016

One Indian Girl !!!! - Chetan Bhagat

With due respect to the author of the  book, One Indian Girl, I have strong questions to all the women who had given inputs to the author + the author himself as he wrote the book.

What is the idea of the book?? Is it one of these ?:

  • -Women can't be intelligent enough to judge a man.
  • -Women who study well, are intelligent and make it to the top of a career cannot have self-control
  • -Women can be easily bought with a few nice words, lots of drinks, and great food.
  • -A "Please come in" invite to a man from a woman is more than just the living room.
  • -A woman who is career-minded can never be a good wife, mother, and daughter
  • -Appreciate a woman's look and she will definitely fall for a man.

I am sure you are wondering what this is all about. The story line of the famous Author, Chetan Bhagat's latest book "One Indian Girl" is quite easy to understand.

A moderately pretty looking young woman Radhika makes it to the world's most prestigious jobs outside India and climbs up the ladder, travels places, with success ticks wherever she goes, because she is smart at work. Blame it on the inferiority complex she grew up with or the loneliness that comes with being successful and being on the highest rung of the ladder, she has two "taken for granted" love affairs and is left alone for many typical reasons-reasons typical of any romantic relationship that doesn't get as far as marriage. At this point in time, the parents decide to find a suitor for Radhika and a destination wedding is arranged in Goa with Brijesh, another successful techie working in America. Whether they get married or not is for you to find out at the end of read. For all the efforts Chetan has taken to write this book am not telling the complete story.

Now, for the plus :

  • Chetan's arrangement of the cards of events in the story is good. A flashback, a reality, a flash back, and a reality in order was a grand move.
  • This book can help anyone who wants to get out of a complicated relationship.
  • He has advocated for women in some places and stood by for their strength, courage, and achievements etc.
  • The girl Radhika made a smart move, or so it seems. I don't know really because the story doesn't seem suggestive.

Sadly there is a major minus in the book that curbs all the plus points:

Anyone in this world should know the importance of a closed door and a curtain. These things exist dear women, who gave inputs to the author. If it is all an imagination, then I have more serious questions like why isn't there a censor board sometimes for publications!!!!

  • A beauty parlor has a closed doors means please stay outside in every sense!!!! 
  • A bedroom has a closed door means just the same!!!! 
  • Please run a search for banned words in your book. Mark all the censored words with stars please!!!!

Why give entries to these places?? What happens inside is strictly none of any one's business except the involved parties! There is so much talk about privacy today and where did it all vanish in describing the life of a successful lady working in one of the top investment banks in the world??!!!!

As an aside, any commoner, a man especially may take it serious and never think of marrying someone working in a top position in any organization. If your name is Radhika, and you have a job offer in the said company, please consider changing your name in the gazette, because people are not going to give you decent greetings!!!! As much as I liked the character Radhika Mehta in the book, I wished every time, she thought clearly, more clearly!!!! It is lonely at the top does not mean the top floor is empty or the brain has gone for a vacation!!! Books like this reassure that women who are successful are not even anywhere close to character!!!! That is plain disgusting, dear people!!!!

I know a lot of successful women in my circle who are doing a lot for their family, the society, for self and stay within the protocol and limits that each woman has been brought up with!!!! Every single woman you know of, knows that there are protocols in life that she would have to abide by if she is serious about any relationship, romantic or platonic!!! And please for heaven's sake, do not judge woman by her career, her money, her looks just because you cannot handle smart women!!!!! Agreed they need to think about how to maintain a balance between home and work, spouse and boss, and many more contra-indications that any job comes with!!!! But that is for them to figure out and they will.

WE WOMEN WILL KNOW TO HANDLE IT BETTER. Definitely this author could have given a lot of importance to Radhika as a person handling situations more wise and nice.. Goof ups happen but not every time!!!!! This book to me seemed to suggest that women are incapable of handling men!!! On a lighter note, yes, men are difficult and ridiculous, but what makes anyone think that we women are useless in dealing with life?!!!!

Dearest author Chetan Baghat, I respect you, your thoughts and your writing, which is why I bought the book. It may be a fun read for a college goer, but not for the wider audience. And the story is NOT FUNNY when it comes to love and marriage!!! At least in India. So, please write for Indian Audience and teach them to be broad minded alright but sane in every way!!!! THANKS a BUNCH!!!

I am looking forward to the next book of yours, hoping it will be a decent read with a very good message. Thank you. If this book is going to be made into a movie, it will click but remember to tell the director about the closed doors and to draw up the curtains wherever necessary to get a U rating!!!

Thursday, October 06, 2016

PINK - Viewpoints

Everybody has an opinion on everything. That's what makes me write this post. I have an opinion too.

This review is based on normal instances and excludes all the untoward incidents happening to women even if they are keeping their best of safety. I leave the judgment of such cases to God's court which definitely is fair!! God Bless All of Us Women to stay safe!!

This movie PINK has been on my mind since the date of release. All the reviews I read spoke about the boldness of the movie and of course, an Amitabh movie means " A must watch" for a lot of his fans. I liked the idea of seeing him as a lawyer on screen. That means dialogue intrinsic, so naturally there is going to be a message.

The story line is very simple : Three girls Falak, Meenal, and Andrea working in Delhi get into a hassled fight with guys that ends up in a police case. The girls were too modern, yet innocent to have trusted the guys just because they knew one person in the group. The guys tried to misbehave with them and they struck in self-defense. The ego battle started in the guys' minds and they made life hell for the girls.Advocate Deepak Shegal takes up the case and wins the trial.

The movie crew has done a very good job in every way. All compliments to the artistes and the director for making the story line an interesting watch. Best and the winning scene is the Defense counsel summary that Amitabh gave : A NO means a NO and a Man should understand that!!! Special thanks to that piece of script!!! Everyone should actually!!

All said, the movie failed to create the impact in my mind!

The first thought after I got out of the theater was to sincerely appreciate my men friends for the standard of decency and manners they maintain in the friendship we share. The next one was to thank my parents for all the effort they had taken to teach me the lines between modernity and ultra modernity, friendship and a little more than friendship, freedom and recklessness, and also to be conservative when required.

Although the movie ended up saying its the man's fault and the women are not guilty, a lot of the fault in my albeit conservative opinion is that of the girls.

To all the girls who read this post:

Why would you go out for a late evening party with guys who are just acquaintances?
Why cant you cover yourself a little more?
Why cant you opt for a soft drink?
When will you understand that you must leave the place if there are men drinking?

We all know that rationale doesn't exist when it comes to getting attracted to the opposite gender.No commoner, just no one has escaped it unless you are someone who lives in a forest among trees and animals or have landed straight from the God's abode and not from a mother's womb!! Give it a chance and you won't have a second chance to mend the damage. Then, why take a chance??

How do you expect men to keep their senses right when a girl seated close wears revealing clothes? How can you expect decency when you don't look like you care for decent looks? 

I am not saying, " Go back to the old times and cover up from head to toe even on a hot summer day", but consider wearing clothes that do not provoke the guy around you. He may share any relationship with you, but dress decent!!! Who defines that?? We girls have to find a definition that works for us - Something that does not display our precious figure and its dimensions to the public would do. Save yourself for the guy who shares his lifetime with you!!!There are so many western, modern, ultra-modern outfits and fashions that cover up too!!! Choose one of them.

Next is about going out late night. Now, nights do not have anything to do with safety or decency is true. A lot can happen in the day time too.. Still, when the whole community is sleeping not knowing what is happening to you, chances are you wont get much help. Go out during the day. Friends understand that your safety is important and wont ask you out for late night dinners. And no friend can claim that he can take care of your safety. Not all of us have wrestler or boxer friends to hang out with!!

Next is the drinks. Always ensure that you have your own policy in life!!. Don't take stuff that is harmful for your health. Don't take stuff that knock you out of your senses. That's the only way to stay safe. Just one alcoholic drink during a social gathering can mean nothing in today's times but think!!! Why do you need it?? A glass of a soft drink would do right??

Lastly, no matter what Men are MEN, All caps!!!. Lets stop saying Men are equal to Women!!!! In what quotient?? We are far far better than them in every way but thanks to the MAKER's choice of fine features ( yes, every woman is attractive in her own way!!!!) and strong emotions ( Oh yes, we say I love you more than Men do!!!) and river of sentiments ( yes, we can shed a tear or two easily!!!), we are in a nutshell WEAK - physically and emotionally. Mentally we may be strong but we definitely need the emotional support for it as well.

So that said, lets keep all the men around us informed and educated of our policies of eating, drinking, partying and trusting our complete selves with them. Have a policy that works for you and stick to it.

A man's life is tough these days.. He has to walk like a saint amidst all the scantily clad women with wax polished bodies and beautified face and lustrous hair flowing over her bare shoulders, and eyes that wear make up which is way too beautiful that he cant take his eyes off the girl!! How is that possible??!!!

Never blame MEN!!!! Its your right to dress beautiful. Agreed!!! But please accept that men WILL look at you, thanks to their properties as a Man - To like beautiful women is number one!!!, WILL touch you if you allow, thanks to the law of attraction in life, and WILL blame you for everything that happened, thanks to their Make!! No point in arguing that men are wrong and women are right.. In the end its the WOMAN who miserably loses emotionally!!!

The movie had an ending that proves the man wrong, but the girl went through all the verbal pricks and pokes in an open court room which ended up spoiling her peace entirely. When the older generation said " Girls should know how to behave" I used to fight for women. Now I know why they said that : Just to avoid hassles that our emotional selves can't handle easily.

You should be made of rock to excuse an unsolicited touch from a man!!! We are NOT. None of us is!!! So why get into trouble with men?? They are great as fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, colleagues, friends, uncles and they ARE trust worthy. You need to draw a line around yourself and stay within the limits for each of these relationships with men to be healthy and happy.

PINK definitely is a must watch for all the girls to gain their own lessons from it. The court room questions were bold and hopefully doesn't send a message to today's teens that at eighteen they can choose to do whatever they wish to with a boy, for the movie failed to highlight that such a relationship didn't last longer. The verdict proved the boys wrong but didn't warn the girls actions. This may send a wrong message to the teen clubs. As a mother of two, I understand the movie and its message as calling a SPADE a SPADE. Wonder if the kids of today will read it right!

PINK - Good Job!!!Bold Portrayal!!! Great Acting!!! 

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Newton's law of reaction!!!

On a chirpy summer morning, in the streets of a serene South-Indian village, an old man sat outside his house on the sit-out also called as 'Thinnai' or 'Veranda' locally. Not once his gaze  averted from the road that seemed to have no traffic at all except the cycle bearing milk cans and vegetable baskets.

After almost thirty minutes that seemed like eternity to the city-bred onlooker, a young lad crossed the old man's house with a 'Namaste'. The old man asked the boy, "No newspaper today?" and the boy said "No Thaatha". Thaatha is the tamil equivalent of grandpa. He rushed out of sight soon after and the old man quietly walked back inside the house.

In his world and age, the newspaper apparently is the only source of entertainment, world knowledge or a window to the outside world - whatever else you may want to term it as!! And there was no paper is definitely a cause of concern. The old man never had a question. He simply accepted the fact, concealed the disappointment if any, and moved on with the day!!

A good lesson from this simple and seemingly common observation is that too much of questioning causes stress. If we cannot do much about something, its best to leave it at that!!!

That it didn't happen is a fact and that we have to take it at the moment is also a fact.

Often, the fight and yell and stress and distress is on the things that happened and those we could not control and mostly the reaction to things that makes matters worse!!!

Every Action has an equal and opposite Reaction is a great find!!!!

Its best to save the reaction for a minute or two later as the gap will ensure that there is some rationale in the way we react and just may be we will start responding to the situation than react and make life terrible for us and the others!!!

The old man responded with an acceptance in contrast to the onlooker's expectation of at least a question on why the paper was not delivered that day?

Thursday, September 08, 2016

Shrimath Yoga - Nelmangala - Bangalore

Ours is a very conservative family where the concept of get-together meant family functions, weddings and other gatherings where relatives met. One of our cousins just expressed that its been a very long time since we all met and another cousin of ours offered to host the gathering in his place. So, that's for the prologue,very much a synopsis of the Whatsapp discussion that happened few months ago.

One August Sunday Morning, a group of 25 of us, from different locations in Bangalore, managed to get to Nelmangala which was well away from the city.

What was waiting for us was a real wonder!! A mini yoga school - Shrimath Yoga run efficiently by Mrs. and Mr.Krishna Prakash.

Here are a few pictures of the place where we spent the whole day.


Nature teaches us many things that words in books cannot. So many trees and a beautiful landscape in a non-commercial set up, maintained and managed by two young people who chose to devote their time and effort to Yoga, is not something that's easy to explain or imagine. The place remains unpolluted as of now. God Bless!! There are villagers who help with gardening and cooking.

I figured out that we all must make time to find where our real interest lies ( Calling) and work towards it to be happy. Materialistic needs are never-ending and deviate mind from happiness. Spirituality can be practiced in many ways, but we hardly devote any time to it regularly. We are all aware of the power of spirituality but have not bothered to work on it as regularly as we would on work or fun.

After spending a whole day close to nature, which has never happened in a long time, on my way back I wondered what it will be like to enroll for a Yoga course in this place! The guests spend a good few days so close to nature learning yoga,having home-cooked balanced meal, and get to really refresh  their minds and reshuffle their life's priorities a bit.

I just clicked a few pictures to post here, simply because I felt completely awed at the sight of the greenery and the joyful serenity of the place!!! You may want to get in touch with Shrimath Yoga too, if you are looking to learn Yoga. Please google "Shrimath Yoga" for more information.